


So Cold

by ValkyrieNine



Series: Season Six - New Beginnings (Proposed Story Arcs) [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Completed, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Finished, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kara Can't Feel, Kryptonite, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, OTP Feels, Romantic Fluff, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieNine/pseuds/ValkyrieNine
Summary: A few months after the Season 5 finale...Kara and Lena continue their search for Lex and work on rebuilding their friendship. After the initial awkwardness passes, they are both pleasantly surprised to find that they are closer than ever.Just as Lena and Kara are set to go on their first date, they suffer a crushing blow that threatens everything. Cut down by a devastating blast from Lex's latest weapon, those closest to Kara discover the terrifying effect of a red, green, and silver kryptonite cocktail.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Season Six - New Beginnings (Proposed Story Arcs) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779481
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	1. What Date?

“I HAVE IT!” Lena exclaimed at the top of her lungs. She jumped up and down in an uncharacteristic show of excited whimsy.

Kara ran into Lena’s lab with a cup of tea sloshing scalding liquid all over her hand. She set it down on the table and turned to Lena.

"What is it? What did you figure out? I'm sorry about your tea," Kara said with a shrug and an apologetic smile. 

_How are you so adorable, Kara?_

“Oh my God, Kara. Don't apologize for getting me tea. Are you okay?” Lena asked, cradling Kara’s hand in her own. She inspected it with loving care, blowing cool air on her skin. She looked up and found Kara staring at her with that adoring smile she knew was only hers.

_You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Kara. Seeing your smile again makes me feel like I am home._

Over the past few weeks, Kara and Lena had been meeting daily to hunt down Lex. They started off meeting at Lena’s office, but once the warmth between them returned, they started getting together at Kara’s place for decadent food, quality time, and research. Their conversations became more relaxed and soon, they were smiling adoringly at each other once more. No matter where they met, not a day went by when they did not make some stride towards stopping Lex and bringing him to justice. They were both dedicated to finding the ruthless villain, but their more vital mission was to rekindle their friendship and undo the damage he caused.

Their search for Lex gave them an excuse to see each other, but it was their love and affection for one another that compelled them to eat dinner together after work or make a huge stack of pancakes for an early morning breakfast meeting at Kara’s.

While they were awkward at first, their interactions were now warmer and more intimate than they were even before Lena found out Kara’s secret. They learned their lesson by holding back their feelings and withholding the truth, so they both did a better job of being less guarded.

Lena allowed herself to relax, to smile when she was happy, to be sweeter, and to experience joy with Kara, without overthinking or wondering how Kara would react. So far, it pleasantly surprised Lena to see Kara becoming more loving and affectionate daily.

Kara smiled and moved a hand to Lena’s cheek.

Lena’s heart leapt in her chest.

_Please never move your hand, Kara. I love the feeling of your skin touching mine._

“I am good. A little tea cannot hurt me unless you serve it in a kryptonite cup,” Kara said with a goofy laugh. Kara let her hand fall to her side. “What did you figure out? You sounded excited.”

Lena’s heart sank the moment Kara pulled her hand away.

“It was in front of me all along. Come here and take a look,” Lena said, guiding Kara to the map of National City. Kara moved closer. Their faces were only inches apart as they inspected the map, marked with hundreds of pins marking locations they had searched, needed to search, or warranted further study.

“This old LexCorp weapons bunker has been off everyone’s radar since it was cleaned out and decommissioned, but what if Lex is using it, anyway? I am sure there are plenty of secret entrances that only he knows about. Maybe there is still some old equipment that was missed when the D.E.O. raided the place. It would explain why we are seeing power surges in the vicinity,” Lena said hopefully optimistic.

Kara grabbed Lena’s hand and smiled.

“You are a genius! I knew you would find him. I cannot believe he is still in National City. Any normal person on the run would have been halfway around the world by now.”

**“Emmylou”, by First Aid Kit**

[ **https://open.spotify.com/track/7exdcu9SmgcrZ7hW9ZdcYo?si=IDBbIV63RpqpnP6u2qqfqA**](https://open.spotify.com/track/7exdcu9SmgcrZ7hW9ZdcYo?si=IDBbIV63RpqpnP6u2qqfqA)

Kara continued to hold on to Lena’s hand. She smiled sweetly. Lena could feel a flutter in her chest.

_I love you so much, Kara. When you smile, you fill my entire world with wonder. We have been through so much, but you have my heart. Do you know that Kara Danvers?_

The look in Kara’s eyes told her she knew exactly how Lena was feeling. She stepped a little closer and Lena felt like the butterflies in her stomach went crazy. Their chemistry was undeniable from day one, but something had changed since Kara brought Lena back from the brink of madness. They could not take their eyes off each other, and every moment they spent apart was pure agony for Lena.

“I am hardly a genius. I just know my miserable weasel of a brother. He is so predictable. I suppose his entire life has been about hurting the two of us. We cannot expect him to change things up too much.”

_I would give my life for you, Kara. I would give my world just to see that perfect smile. You make me so happy._

“You _are_ a genius and I adore you,” Kara said with a sparkle in her eyes. “I will fly to the bunker and end this once and for all.”

“You will want backup. He is unpredictable with his crazy toys. We cannot possibly comprehend what weapons he has developed. I am sure has new minions, and his evil is limitless.”

Lena grabbed Kara’s hand and held it to her heart.

_No more holding back. I need you to know how much I care about you and how important you are to me, even if I cannot say the words. Do you feel my heart beating? It only beats for you. I want you to see that your happiness and your safety are all I care about. I would do anything to protect you._

“Your safety is more important than finding Lex. We should do this the right way. We need to plan an operation and you need to go in with support."

“You are right. You are always right” Kara said with an adorable upturned grin that made Lena’s butterflies go absolute insane. “I will call Clark and Alex right away.”

Lena pressed her hand to Kara’s chest and smiled.

“We will finally bring his reign of terror to an end. Please, just promise me you will be careful and come back to me in once piece.”

Kara moved closer and rested a hand on Lena’s hip. The gesture was soft and intimate. If anyone else had done it, Lena would have punched them in the throat, but Kara’s hand resting gently on her hip was one of the greatest feelings she had ever experienced.

“I am Supergirl. I will bring Lex down and make him pay for all the pain he has caused. Maybe we can celebrate with rocky road ice cream and a movie. How does that sound?” Kara laid her other hand over Lena’s fingers where they rested on her chest. “Or maybe you would prefer dinner and a movie out somewhere. Something more formal.”

_Oh My God. Is Kara asking me out on a date? There is no way. Stop being delusional, Lena. You, rocky road, and a movie sounds like heaven. Maybe I can come up with an excuse to move closer to you on the couch. Jesus. What is happening to me? I am so soft right now. It is those beautiful blue eyes. They just melt my cold, Luthor heart and fill me with happiness. Please never stop looking at me like that. You have my heart. You have my everything and I love you so much._

“Are you kidding? Every part of your plan sounds perfect. I will never say no to rocky road, a romantic movie… or you." Lena could feel a warm blush move across her cheeks as she said “you”.

“Great! Fantastic! Let me call Alex and Clark and set everything up.”

Kara beamed with excitement and ran off to make her calls.

 _Are you excited about me finding Lex or our date? God, I hope it is a date_

***

Everything happened in a flash. Lena gasped for breath when Clark carried Kara’s limp body into the D.E.O. sickbay. He laid her down on the hospital bed and took a step back. Lena and Winn stood off to the side, trying to assess the damage. Alex stepped forward.

“We need to get her under the yellow sun lamp immediately. Clark, thanks for bringing her in.”

Lena grabbed Clark’s arm. He looked pale. Lena could see that their altercation with Lex shook the Super to his core. No fake Super smile could hide his concern.

“What happened?” Lena asked Clark. Her whole body shook with terror.

“It was Lex. He had a weapon. It was…,” Clark drifted off and watched as Alex examined Kara.

“Clark! What happened?” Lena asked in a more demanding tone. “Your comms dropped. Winn and I could not hear anything. We need to know what is going on.”

“We thought we had the upper hand, but he had this strange weapon. He aimed it at me and fired off a shot. Kara knocked me out of the way at the last minute. She took the full brunt of the burst.”

“What burst?”

“There were three beams. One green, one red and one silver. We think Lex shot her with three forms of kryptonite. The blast took her down immediately.”

“I do not understand. Where did he get three types of kryptonite? I know he had stashes, but I thought the D.E.O. dealt with all of them.” Lena’s heart pounded wildly in her chest and she still labored to catch her breath.

“We have no clue. I am not even sure that is what I saw, but if it was red, green, and silver kryptonite, there is no way to tell how Kara will react or heal. I have been the victim of red kryptonite. It was horrifying. I cannot imagine what the power of three could do.”

“All she needs is the yellow sun. It will heal her. I know it,” Alex said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than Lena or Clark.

Clark wrapped his arm around Lena and smiled sadly.

“She was extremely excited about your date. She will fight this and come back even stronger so she can get back to you.”

_Did he just say “date”?_

“Date? She said it was a date?” Lena asked.

Clark smiled.

“Yep. Do you want it to be a date?”

Lena blushed and averted her eyes like a schoolgirl in love.

“That is all I have wanted since the day we met.”

“It is about time. I still remember the look on both of your faces that first day in your office. I felt like I needed to give you privacy with those smiles and flirty eyes.”

Lena grinned. She looked at Kara’s unconscious body and her face dropped again.

“She has to be okay, Clark.”

“She will get through this, Lena. Just have faith.”

“I will. I will never lose my faith in Kara. Never. Thanks for the pep talk.”

***

Lena sat by Kara’s bedside for two days straight without moving. She refused to eat and only slept, resting her head on Kara’s arm when exhaustion overwhelmed her. The remainder of the time, she held Kara’s hand and whispered words of love in her ear. If there was an ample resource Lena could readily supply to Kara, it was love and encouragement. She worshiped Kara, and she had no hesitation telling her as she laid there unconscious.

When Kara’s eyes opened just after lunch on the third day, Lena was overjoyed. She wrapped her arms around Kara and held her tight. She pressed her lips to Kara’s head as tears of joy fell from her eyes. Lena’s joy soon turned to concern and then to dread. When she squeezed Kara’s body tight, she knew something was wrong. She did not wrap her arms around Lena. She just laid there, stiff, and frozen. She did not hug her back. Her body was hard and cold. Lena stepped back. The look on Kara’s face sent a bitter chill through every nerve in Lena’s exhausted body.

Her eyes were empty and hollow. She sat there, lips pursed, and her brow furrowed in confusion.

_Why does your face look so hard? What is wrong with you?_

“Kara? Are you okay? Do you recognize me?”

Kara sat up and looked around the sickbay.

Lena called out to Alex.

“Alex! Kara’s awake. Alex!”

Alex, Clark, and Winn ran into the sickbay full of excitement.

Kara regarded the three of them with the same cool indifference. She returned her attention to Lena.

“I feel fine. I recognize you. You are Lena Luthor.” Kara’s voice was remarkably absent of inflection or tenderness.

Alex looked over at Lena curiously.

“What happened? What is wrong with her? Why is she talking like a robot?” Alex asked scratching her head.

“I have no clue. She woke up, I wrapped my arms around her and there was nothing. No warmth, no affection, no Kara.”

Clark stepped forward. He put a hand on Kara’s arm and smiled his sweetest, most disarming smile.

“Hey cousin. Are you feeling okay?”

“Hi Clark. Yes. I am fine.”

“You seem a little distant, Kar. You just feeling groggy?” Alex asked cautiously optimistic.

“No. I’m not groggy. I feel clear and focused.”

It shook everyone in the room to see Kara’s cool demeanor, but no one more so than Lena. She tried again. She stepped forward and took Kara’s hand and pressed it to her heart.

“Kara, it is me. Where is your sweet smile?” Lena asked desperately. She did not care about the other watchful eyes in the room.

Everyone else averted their gaze to give them some privacy.

“Why would I smile?” Kara asked coolly.

Lena’s heart broke.

Alex looked up, shocked. She made eye contact with Lena and shook her head, attempting to console her.

_I do not understand what is happening. Why are you talking to me like this? You’re sick. That has to be the explanation. This is not you._

Alex grabbed Lena’s arm.

“Hey, Lena. Everything will be fine. She just needs some rest. Do not worry.”

_Alex is being nice to me. There is something very wrong._

“Kara?” Lena whimpered.

“Yes,” Kara replied, hardened, and focused.

“I am excited about our date”, Lena said, refusing to back down.

“Date? What date?”

Lena looked back at Clark. His face dropped and Lena’s heart sank into her stomach. She felt a wave of sickness come over her and she ran to the bathroom.

***

Alex asked everyone to leave the sickbay and give her some time alone with Kara to perform her examination.

Clark called Eliza and asked her to come to National City at once. He did his best to console Lena, but even he knew there was no consolation in seeing how cruelly Kara dismissed her.

“Hey Lena, the good news is that the effects from kryptonite rarely last long. She will be back to her normal self in no time. You will have your date and I am sure it will be spectacular.”

Lena smiled, but her eyes burned holding back her tears.

“If Kara is planning it, I have no doubts that it will be a dream come true.”

_It would be a dream come true but all of this feels like a nightmare. Please come back to me Kara. I need to stay optimistic. Everything will be okay. Clark is right. Kara is the strongest person I know. She will fight this. She will come back to me. I know it._

Lena closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. All she could do now is wait.

**"Bottles and Bones" by Shades and Sympathy**

**[https://open.spotify.com/track/5f9JzBrhVNdA8UtzTwQVH7?si=uTv4V8-tQFSu8qeEmMLtFA](https://open.spotify.com/track/5f9JzBrhVNdA8UtzTwQVH7?si=HNa1JO_zT0iuI0VjscpHrg) **


	2. No More Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena faces the stark reality of Kara's injury.

When Alex finally came out to speak to everyone, her expression was grim. She made eye contact with Lena and tried to smile, but it was clear her time examining Kara had taken a toll on her.

“She needs more time with the yellow sun lamp. J’onn will try to connect with her a little later when she is stronger.”

“She seemed strong physically,” Lena said, trying not to sound defeated.

Alex put a hand on Lena’s shoulder.

_This feels wrong. She is consoling me again. Kara, what happened to you?_

“She is, but the stronger she is physically, the more mental fortitude she will have to work her way back to the Kara we know and love.”

“So, you think she will be okay?” Lena asked, knowing Alex could not possibly have the answer.

“Absolutely, Lena.” Alex’s smile seemed fragile, like she was on the verge of tears herself. “Go home and get some rest. I will call if there is any change.”

“Can I stay?” Lena asked, barely holding on.

“Absolutely. I just thought you would like to rest since you have been sitting up with her for two days straight.”

“I cannot leave her side,” Lena said. “Even if she does not seem to care that I am here, I will not leave until we get her healthy. She means the world to me, Alex. I will always stand by her side.”

“Okay,” Alex said. “You stay right here. If anything will help her heal, it will be you."

***

Lena fell asleep in the conference room. She awoke to the feeling of Eliza’s hand on her back.

“Hi Lena,” Eliza whispered softly.

Lena’s eyes opened, and she sat up, groggy. Eliza sat down next to Lena and handed her a cup of coffee. Lena took a sip and let out a relieved sigh.

“Hi,” Lena said with a sad smile. “Thank you so much for the coffee. How is she?”

“Frozen. The kryptonite cocktail seems to have stolen away the very essence of her. She feels nothing.”

“Even with you? I thought if anyone could inspire emotion in her, it would be you or Alex.”

“I am fairly sure you inspire a lot of emotion in Kara, sweetheart,” Eliza said with a knowing smile. You two have been through so much.”

Lena broke down and buried her face in her hands. She spoke through her sobs.

“Just when I thought I had connected with her, I lost her before I could tell her how I really feel.”

Eliza wrapped an arm around Lena’s back.

“Lena please do not lose hope. Kara is a fighter. If there is any way for her to find her way back, she will… for you.”

_Did she just say for me?_

“For me?” Lena asked, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

“Lena, you and Kara have always had a special connection. I know the two of you have been through many trials, but the one thing that has always remained true is that you mean the world to her, even if she is unable to express it.”

“I would run through fire for her. I would do anything to bring her back. Anything.”

“You need to take care of yourself. Alex said you have been here for the last two days. You need to go home, eat, shower, and get some sleep. I hate to pull the Mom card, but I need to make sure you girls take care of yourselves.”

_Why does that comfort me so much? I really need a mother right now. I feel like I am falling apart._

“I know it is silly because she is emotionally paralyzed, but I am worried that she will need me. I feel strange not being here when something so traumatic has happened to her.”

“Lena, it is not silly. I know how much you care about her. We can all see how dedicated the two of you are to each other. I promise we will call you the minute anything changes.”

_I do not want to leave her side, but Eliza is right. I need to shower and get some sleep. I know Kara will be okay. I have faith, but right now I am so tired I think I am too emotional to cope._

“Okay. I will head home and get some sleep. Do you think I can go see her before I leave?”

Lena stood up and tried to smile. Eliza followed suit.

“Of course. Please, just promise me you will remember that the person sitting in that hospital bed is only part of Kara. I know it probably hurts, but please just stay strong. She will be back to her normal self in no time.”

“I will try not to let it get to me. Thank you for your support.”

Eliza hugged Lena. Lena closed her eyes and took in the feeling of Eliza’s maternal embrace.

Lena made her way out of the conference room and into the sickbay. It was dark outside. Lena could tell it was late. Alex and J’onn were talking to Kara. They looked just as thrown as Lena was feeling.

“Can you two give me a second alone with Kara?”

Alex and J’onn nodded in agreement and gave her a sad smile. They walked out and closed the door behind them. Lena approached the hospital bed cautiously.

“Hi, Kara. How are you feeling?”

Kara’s face remained still and emotionless. It was strange for Lena to stare into Kara’s eyes and not feel love. Even when she was furious with Kara, she could feel her best friend’s dedication to her when they were together. Faced with Kara’s blank expression, she felt nothing but an oppressive ache in her heart.

_Where is your heart? I would rather you scream at me than look at me with so much indifference._

“I feel fine. How are you?” Kara said flat and monotone.

_What could I possibly say? My heart is breaking. I never imagined that you could ever be this distant. I cannot tell you the truth. You asked me how I was, but your expression tells me you do not care. You just said what you thought I wanted to hear._

“Fine, thank you,” Lena said, biting her lip. “Were J’onn and Alex able to find anything?”

“No. The blast from the weapon appears to have done no permanent physical damage.”

“Do you feel… I mean… do you feel any emotion?” Lena asked, hoping Kara would feel something.

“No. Nothing. I would like to get out of this hospital bed, but I do not feel any particular way about it.”

A wave of emotion swelled inside of Lena. Her eyes filled with tears.

_Why am I bursting with all of these emotions? I want to be cold like you. Take these feelings away from me._

“What about me? Do you feel anything about me?”

“In what way?” Kara asked flatly.

“As your friend? As anything more? Do you feel any emotion when you look at me?”

“No. I get the sense that you are upset, but I am really not sure what you expect me to say here. Why are you crying?”

Lena wiped her eyes and clenched her jaw. 

_Remember what Eliza said. This is not Kara. This is only part of her. She will get better. She will come back to me. Just be patient._

“Never mind. I should get some rest. You should get some rest too.”

“Okay,” Kara said dismissively. She looked around the room. "Have a good night.”

_What is wrong with you.? I wish you could be angry. I wish you could just hate me. At least there would be some feeling there. Why does it sound like you do not care what happens to me?_

Lena flashed back to all the over the top emotional moments she had shared with Kara. The laughter, the tears, the anger, and the frustration. Theirs was the deepest and most passionate connection Lena ever experienced, and now Lena felt nothing coming from Kara but apathy. 

“You too,” Lena just barely managed.

She walked out of the sickbay quickly and burst into tears. Eliza walked up and wrapped an arm around her. Lena did her best to pull herself together, but desolation crushed her heart.

“And people say the Luthors are cold, heartless bitches,” Lena said, wiping away her tears. “Why can’t I stop crying?”

Eliza rubbed Lena’s shoulder.

“This was what worried me, sweetheart. I know it is hard to stomach her iciness right now. Listen, why don’t I take you home? There is nothing we can do right now. Please try not to be angry with her.”

“I know this is not her fault. I could never be angry with her. I blame Lex. She was the victim of the worst evil. We will bring her back. I will not rest until she finds her heart again. I am going to destroy Lex.”

J’onn and Alex walked up to Lena.

“Lena, I will try to connect with Kara. I need to read her in a serene environment. There is every chance that all of this will wear off and we will get Kara back. Just have faith.”

J’onn’s kind smile and sincerity were convincing, but Lena still feared she would never get her Kara back. The beautiful, passionate, nerdy girl that she fell madly in love with seemed universes away and Lena felt lost trying to find her way back to her.

_I just need to be honest. I cannot take this anymore. They need to know why I am falling apart._

“I have loved Kara every minute of every day since we met. Sure, I have been angry and sometimes out of control, but I have given her every part of me. I stand by her side; I love her, and I will protect her with everything I am. Kara and I were reconnecting in a way I never imagined possible and Lex took her away from me again. How could one person, one weak, useless person have so much power to destroy our lives? I love her so much. Please do whatever it takes to bring her back and please know that I will do anything and everything I can to help because she is my home. She always will be. I will stand by her no matter what.”

Alex wrapped an arm around Lena’s shoulders.

“We know, Lena. Kar will be okay. Just go home and get some rest.”

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” Eliza took Lena’s hand, and they walked out.

***

At first, Lena could pull herself together when she was around Kara. Their interactions were cool, short, and unfeeling, but she did her best to be warm, even when faced with Kara’s icy chill and dead eyes. Lena did her best to express her emotions, hoping to touch Kara’s heart and awaken something inside of her she hoped was not dead and gone forever. Fate was cruel, erasing every ounce of love, affection and genuine warmth Kara had for Lena right before their first date.

Lena sat on the couch in her office staring at the place Kara would always sit. She pressed her hand to the fabric and closed her eyes trying to listen for the ghostly sound of Kara's laughter.

**"Never Forget" by Michelle Pfeiffer**

**[https://open.spotify.com/track/6b4HGvI1Icw1Ztgpz4pkyc?si=9XjGuXVUQfyAJAnOFsfqvw](https://open.spotify.com/track/6b4HGvI1Icw1Ztgpz4pkyc?si=-IFnLcBsRQ-vuIW1S3mfFA) **

The unfairness of it all was so crushing that Lena cried more often than not. The hours she did not sleep, she was weeping. The inequality of their feelings was brutal, but what cut Lena to her core was that she knew she could disappear, and Kara would not feel a thing. She did not care if Lena was asleep or awake. She would not care if she was safe or in mortal danger. Nothing mattered to her anymore. Lena wished and prayed to have the emotions driven from her own heart, but alas, there was no weapon that could make her stop loving Kara Danvers.

No drink, no drug, no work project, or villain could distract the pain from Lena's heart. Every time she thought about not reaching out, not holding onto Kara, her heart would break more, so she would try. She would try, but she failed to touch Kara’s frozen soul every time. She tried to appeal to her sense of whimsy, and that failed. She tried to connect with her sentimental side but found nothing but cool indifference. She tried to talk to Kara about their past and all the moments that meant something to her, but Kara always met Lena’s impassioned pleas for connection with a cold forced reply. Lena found it increasingly difficult not to see Kara's apathy as cruel, even if she had no control. 

Kara kept all her intellect. She could see Lena’s pain and discomfort, even if she could not feel or connect with her. Her eyes could see that every part of Lena was falling apart. Kara made clumsy attempts at trying to show warmth, but all she seemed capable of was echoing Lena’s words and occasionally adding a word or two to show that she at least acknowledged that Lena was a living human being with a heart.

Lena would reminisce about their first meeting. Her eyes would tear up thinking about their first shared smile. Kara’s face remained still without a glimmer of emotion or connection. She would search Kara’s face for a tick or movement, but it was like the kryptonite paused her life. She was thoroughly unmoved by everything Lena attempted. Every interaction Lena had with Kara chipped away at her heart. Every time she expressed her love, Kara met her words with numbness and a blank stare.

With each passing week, Lena’s resolve weakened more. Her attempts at connecting with Kara all failed and then one day, her heart let go of that last glimmer of genuine hope that remained.

***

One evening, after weeks of trying to connect with Kara, Lena went to Alex’s apartment.

Lena knocked, and Kelly answered the door.

“Hi Lena,” Kelly said with the same sad smile everyone was greeting her with these days.

It was like they were walking on eggshells with someone who had recently lost a loved one. Lena was mourning a loss.

“Hi Kelly. I am so sorry to bother you two. I was wondering if Alex might have a few minutes to talk.”

Lena tried to smile, but she knew the emotional veil she wore was transparent.

“Absolutely. Come in.”

Kelly turned back just as Alex walked over.

“Hey Lena. You okay?” Alex asked.

“Do you have a second to chat?” Lena said, a little sadder than she intended.

“Definitely. Come in and sit down.”

Kelly gave Alex a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m heading to the grocery store. You two have a good chat. Text me if you think of anything else we need. How about you, Lena? Anything you need?”

“Can you pick up a cure for Kara?” Lena asked with a sad smile.

Kelly wrapped her arms around Lena and held on.

“I’m so sorry. Really,” Kelly said.

Lena pulled back and smiled, but the tears rolling down her cheeks revealed her pain.

Kelly grabbed Lena’s shoulders.

"Stay hopeful," Kelly said. 

“Everything will be okay,” Lena replied, convincing no one.

_I do not know why I say the words if I do not believe them anymore. Who am I kidding?_

Kelly gave them both a somber smile before she headed down the hallway.

_I’m so exhausted from the pity. I just want Kara back in my arms._

***

Alex and Lena sat down on the couch.

“Would you like something to drink? Beer, scotch?”

“I am trying not to self-medicate. I do not understand why I chose one of the worst times of my life to give up my unruly behavior. I guess with Kara being so numb, feeling numb is the last thing I want to feel.”

“That totally makes sense.”

“Do not let me stop you.”

“Nah. I am okay. What is on your mind, Lena?"

“It’s Kara.”

“I had a feeling. What’s going on?”

“Let me ask you a question. Have you seen any change in Kara at all?”

“Sure,” Alex said unconvincingly. “There have been some slight changes.”

“Really?”

Alex shook her head.

“No. Not really. Have you?” 

“No matter what I do, no matter what I say, it has no effect. I try and try, but it is like I am talking to a stranger. I have tried so hard to shut down my feelings and just weather all of this like a trooper, but I cannot seem to find any peace. Every time I tell her how much she means to me; she just stares at me blankly and says ‘thank you' or says nothing at all. I just want to scream until I have no voice and cry until I have no more tears left.”

Alex moved closer to Lena and pressed a hand to her back. She gave her a gentle pat, trying to console her.

“I am so sorry, Lena. J’onn has been working with Kara for weeks, trying to connect with her. He says that the kryptonite drained all her life force. She lives, but she feels nothing because that thing that makes Kara… well Kara, thrived on her love and her heart and they were both pulled from her body. It is like her soul is on vacation.”

“Is there any way to fix it?”

“No safe way.”

“What do you mean?”

“J’onn says that someone can try to give her some of their life force, but he says it is dangerous and if anyone did it, they could lose their emotions or die.”

“I will do it. Call him," Lena said without hesitation.

“You most certainly will not, Lena. It is too dangerous, and there is no guarantee that it will fix Kara. More than likely, it will kill you or take away your life essence and Kara would rather die a thousand deaths than lose you. If you did not have enough life force to spare, I fear we would lose you both. She would never forgive me if I ever let you try something so stupid.”

“She is dead inside, Alex. I feel like I am in mourning the loss of her and she is still alive. She keeps telling me she is not the same person and to adjust my expectations. My brain is trying but my heart just hurts. She is different and it kills me. No matter what I say or do, nothing matters to her. Will we ever get her back?”

Lena broke down in tears. Alex moved closer and wrapped an arm around Lena. She squeezed her tight.

“J’onn is not giving up. He is working with her daily to come up with something. Her lack of emotion is negatively affecting her decisions as Supergirl. She has abandoned people in need to catch the bad guy more than once. She is not taking care of National City anymore. She cannot make choices based on her heart, and that is what has always made Supergirl so special. I do not know what to do to make this better, Lena.”

“I do not know either. All I know is that I cannot go on this way. I knew I loved her with my whole heart, but I did not understand how crushing this would be on my soul. Every time she stares at me blankly or responds with something, she thinks I want to hear, I feel like there is this vice grip squeezing my heart. She is unbearably indifferent. She does not want to hurt me, but she does not want to love me or know me either. Maybe I should just give up and stop trying. It has been weeks, and she behaves as though I could disappear, and she would just continue on with her life.”

“Don’t give up. There is always a way.” Alex said with a forced smile.

"Alex, I'll never give up on her, but I am giving up on wanting more. If this is what our friendship has become, I have little hope of ever touching her heart again." 

“Lena, Kara is still in there. Part of me wonders if buried somewhere deep in her sub conscience she sees what she is doing to you and is dying to make this all better. I can’t help but wonder if she wishes she could connect with you and show you the love you need. Hold on to that thought, Lena. Imagine she is fighting this. Imagine she is battling her indifference like a villain attacking National City. She loves you, Lena. She loves you and she always will. Somewhere Kara feels horrible about the pain she has put you through.”

**"Yamaha" by Delta Spirit**

**[https://open.spotify.com/track/6i4T7CZeZKaBPor8EMCv8P?si=NwnbcG_EQsmff3OaWzQWNw](https://open.spotify.com/track/6i4T7CZeZKaBPor8EMCv8P?si=sxU31VFvQ66G30-4dAKFCg) **

Lena let the tears fall down her cheeks without wiping them away. Alex squeezed Lena's hand and they both stared out the window at the starry sky. There were no more words left to say. 


	3. The Light Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unwilling to give up on Kara, Lena makes the ultimate sacrifice to bring her love home.

Alex’s words echoed in Lena’s mind. She went home, turned on the stereo and stared out the window, feeling a sense of hopelessness take hold.

**“There Will Be Time”, by Baaba Maal and Mumford and Sons**

[**https://open.spotify.com/track/7Ddh0jbUW6q0O1Mt7IYEPX?si=y5zfUP9kT-qZg7-C65M1pQ** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/7Ddh0jbUW6q0O1Mt7IYEPX?si=y5zfUP9kT-qZg7-C65M1pQ)

Lena stood at the window contemplating her next move. The night offered nothing but a desolate chill. The clouds hanging over the city obscured the stars and the moonlight. Lena felt like her pain had stolen away the light and joy from the entire city.

“Maybe I should just give up. No matter how I try to connect with her, it makes no difference. I know she is trying, but I also feel like she shouldn't have to try so hard. Maybe her feelings were never strong to begin with. Maybe I was just an idiot. This heartbreak must end at some point. What am I going to do? Alex is losing hope. If Alex is losing hope, what hope do I have of digging myself out of this?”

Lena burst into tears. Her involuntary sobs choked the air from her lungs.

"I used to be so cold. I was a bitch and I was proud of it. I was calm and collected. I knew how to shut down all the negative feelings that plagued my mind and my heart. Now I'm just a pathetic blubbering mess who can't stop crying. What is wrong with me? Kara isn't dead. A part of her lives. I suppose I'm melting down because _my_ Kara is dead. The Kara who made me smile. The Kara who made feel warm without uttering a single word. I'm mourning the loss of a feeling not a person. Kara is alive but her love for me is dead."

Lena broke down even harder. She wept with her whole body and collapsed to the ground broken and defeated. 

"Why can't I just feel better? Why can't I shut out this agony?"

Lena pressed her hand to the glass and thought about Kara’s smile. She thought of the feel of her arms wrapped around her and the excitement she felt when she thought they would finally have their first date. It all felt like too much, but she knew she could not succumb to her heartache. She pounded her hand against the glass repeatedly until the searing pain dulled the pain in her heart just a little. She turned around and punched a vase that sat on her coffee table. The shards flew and shattered. Lena's hand bled but she didn't care. 

“I am not giving up. Not yet. There is still time to try. I cannot give up on her. Get up, Lena. Get up, get mad, and fight for the woman you love.”

Lena grabbed her keys and threw a coat on over her jeans and National City sweatshirt. A rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning foreshadowed a dark and powerful storm on the horizon. 

***

Lena stood outside Kara’s door, hesitant to knock. She held her breath and thought of every reaction Kara could have. She felt thoroughly disconnected from a woman who inspired so much passion inside of her; she went mad with fury. Kara inspired so much love, anger, jealousy, indignation, and passionate longing inside Lena’s heart, she felt like she needed to commit herself to a psych ward. She knocked hard.

_Yikes. That sounded more aggressive than I wanted it to sound._

**“Sleep”, by Azure Ray**

[ **https://open.spotify.com/track/5viL6E7yylGtpuANKZxFJm?si=OMQEgiO5QS-Y_jHHr-OnkQ** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5viL6E7yylGtpuANKZxFJm?si=OMQEgiO5QS-Y_jHHr-OnkQ)

The door opened and Kara was standing there with her hair down, wearing her gray capri sweats and a tank top.

_How can someone so soft and warm be so cold?_

“Hi Lena,” Kara said without a hint of emotion. No smile, no raised brow or sparkle in her eyes. Lena thought she would be used to it by now, but it hurt every time.

_Why does it break my heart every time I see you? I know what you will do and say, and yet I always expect you to change. The problem is me, not you. Even after all of this, all I want to do is love you. All I want to do is show you my love, but I can't._

“Hi Kara. Do you have a second to chat? I am sorry. I know it is late.”

“Come in”, Kara said, waving Lena inside.

_No glimmer of concern or warmth. Just words._

Kara sat back down on the couch. She did not offer Lena a seat or a drink. She had not done that in weeks, and it was one of the first things that struck Lena as odd. Kara went from someone who cared about everyone around her to this cold, aloof person who could barely say hello. She did not care about their comfort or well-being. She did not know how to because she was too numb.

“Kara, come here. Please.”

_What am I doing?_

Kara did not ask why or hesitate. She just planted her feet, got up from the couch, and walked over to Lena. She stood about a foot in front of her with the blankest expression Lena had ever seen. She was hallowed out like a rotted tree stump. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck and stared deep into her cold eyes.

“None of this will touch your heart, but I have to say the words out loud. The reason I am in so much pain is that I have spent every hour since we met loving you. I have not always liked you. I have not always understood you, but I have always loved you, Kara. Always. I have given you everything I am. You have my heart, my mind, my passions, my longing, my attention, my soul, and the very essence of me. I have invented for you and I have come back from the brink of despair to repair our friendship and hopefully build more. Kara Danvers, I love you with everything I am or will ever be. I love you with my hopes and my prayers.”

Lena pulled Kara closer and kissed her. Tears fell down her cheeks as she tried to feel something from Kara, but she felt nothing. No warm embrace, no reciprocation of her kiss. Her lips did not even move. She just stood there, motionless, and absent of all the emotion Lena had hoped to evoke pouring her heart out.

Lena pulled back, frustrated.

“Are you going to say anything to me? I poured my heart out to you. I have given you every part of me. Can you tell you me you really feel nothing?”

Kara stood there. Her expression changed slightly. It was not warmth. It was more like cool disdain.

“What do you expect me to say?” Kara said with an almost biting tone. "I feel nothing for you."

“Great, so you feel nothing, but you can get angry?”

“I am not angry. I just don’t understand.”

“Do you not feel anything? I am pouring out my heart to you, Kara.”

“I feel nothing. You make me feel nothing at all.”

Lena’s heart shattered.

She felt like someone had kicked her in the gut. All the breath left her body, and everything just hurt.

Lena pulled her arms away from Kara and pushed her away. She burst into tears. Laboring for breath, she ran out of Kara’s apartment. Once a place of comfort and peace, now Lena could only see her apartment as the place that Kara told her she felt nothing for her. She could only associate that place she once thought of as a second home as a reminder of Kara’s inability to care. Kara’s disdain stuck in Lena’s mouth like something sour as she repeated Kara's words. 

"You make me feel nothing at all," Lena said sobbing uncontrollably.

The rain started just as Lena stepped foot onto the concrete. She looked up into the sky and let out a guttural moan.

“Have I lost her forever?”

Lena's tears mixed with the raindrops on her cheeks. A bitter chill blew in and froze Lena to her core, but nothing could feel colder than Kara's blank expression and cruel words.

***

The next morning, Lena arrived at the D.E.O. early. J’onn stood on the balcony overlooking the city. He sipped at a cup of something warm and steaming.

Lena walked up behind him and cleared her throat.

He turned around and gave her a sad smile.

“Hi J’onn.” Lena rubbed her neck and shifted her weight nervously.

“Good Morning, Lena. How are you?”

“I am here.”

“So, I imagine you want to talk about Kara.”

“I do. Alex told me what you said about Kara losing her life force.” Lena took a stepped forward and puffed out her chest. “I want to give her mine.”

“Lena, there is a reason I didn’t call you and tell you about this. It is far too dangerous to even attempt. You could lose yourself in all of this or you could die.”

“You call this living? I spend every single day trying to remind the woman I love that she cared about me once. I spend every day trying to connect to her, trying to show her what she means to me. You know where that has gotten me?”

J’onn just shook his head.

Lena continued. She buried her face in her hands and closed her eyes. 

“Devastated. I went to see her last night. I pleaded with her to feel something, but she felt nothing. She just stared at me like I was crazy. She didn’t have a single word to say to me. We are not friends. We are nothing and I am devastated. I could die and she wouldn't care."

“Lena, a life force transfer may not fix her. She could end up the same, and then you might lose your emotions.”

“Good. Emotions have only ever caused me trouble. My love for Kara is what made me work with Lex in the first place. If I had handed him over to the D.E.O. Kara would be safe. This is ALL my fault.”

The startling realization stabbed at Lena’s heart. She repeated her own words.

“This is all my fault. I did this. I ruined everything.”

J’onn took a step closer and tried to plead with the tormented CEO.

“This is Lex’s fault, Lena. Not yours.”

“I would rather lose all my emotions and never feel another thing rather than watch Kara slowly slip away from me. She feels nothing, and it kills me inside.”

“Alex will say no.”

“Alex will agree, eventually. She said that Kara is less effective as Supergirl. She needs her heart back and there is only one way to do it.”

“You know, Alex offered to do it, but I told her that there is no way it would work. She loves Kara, and her emotions are powerful, but I believe you are the only person who could perform a life force exchange and survive. Your dedication, your undying love, your refusal to give up even in the face of all these challenges proves that your life force might be the only thing strong enough to bring her back. If anyone has enough emotion and life force to spare for Kara, it would be you.”

“J’onn, I love her. I love her heart wherever it is. I love her soul. I love her heroism and her need to care for others. I love her smile and the way she always made me feel. I love how safe she used to make me feel. I just want to bring that back and I will risk my life to try.”

“There is no guarantee that Kara will agree to this.”

“She will. My Kara, the Kara who loves with her whole heart would say no, but this Kara, doesn't care about my wellbeing or my safety. She doesn't care about anything. She only sees herself and nothing more than that. She can only feel her numbness. I could die and she would just step over my body. Please J’onn. Please help me.”

“Okay. Let me call Kara and Alex," J'onn said resting his hand on Lena's shoulder. "Nothing is permanent, Lena. Everything is constantly moving and changing. Maybe you can't work against the universe, but we can try.”

***

**“Stubborn Love”, by the Lumineers**

[**https://open.spotify.com/track/3ekNuTF3UpOvIZCfiejpnC?si=UFPZ40KDQpydTILWDp4XAA** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/3ekNuTF3UpOvIZCfiejpnC?si=UFPZ40KDQpydTILWDp4XAA)

“You can’t do this Lena. We will find another way,” Alex said, pacing nervously.

“I am here, Kara has no objections, and even J’onn knows it is our only hope.”

Eliza stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Lena’s.

“I know you love Kara with all of your heart, but she would never condone this. She would never want you to put yourself in danger for her.”

“Then she is a hypocrite because all she has ever done is put her own life in danger to save me. Time and time again she has sacrificed herself to keep me safe. Kara has the purest, kindest heart, even if she is unable to use it right now. I would do anything to bring her back. I would sacrifice anything to help her find her way, even if it isn’t to me. Let her love someone else. I just can’t stand by and watch her freeze up and become a heartless rock.”

“Lena, she loves you and she always has. You have always mattered to her, even if she finds it impossible to tell you or show you anymore. I just need you to know that.” Alex said, taking Lena's hand.

“I know it deep down. Somewhere I cannot reach in my mind or my heart right now, I know that I matter to her. Maybe just a little. What she feels is this abstract concern but nothing more than that. The problem is that her inability to tell me or show me how she feels has me feeling so unbearably inadequate I can barely stand it. I cannot walk through this world knowing that I am not good enough or meaningful enough to evoke even the slightest bit of emotion. If she cannot feel anything for me, how do I smile again? How do I go on knowing that when she looks at me with her cold eyes that she sees a face and a body and nothing else? I love you both for trying to stop me. The only consolation in all of this is how close I have become to the two of you as we have struggled to bring Kara back, but I must do this. I cannot go on crying myself to sleep every single night. I cannot go on being distracted every minute of every day with thoughts of what could have been. Please support me. It is the only way.”

Eliza wrapped her arms around Lena, and Alex wrapped her arms around Eliza. Their shared embrace brought Lena a little comfort but contentment seemed like a thing of past.

“Bring her home, Lena,” Alex whispered. “If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

***

**“The Eye”, by Brandi Carlile**

[**https://open.spotify.com/track/0Plf9mewMoYkwEvncCjfxS?si=oa8ni545R2uKZ4KSgrBpow** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/0Plf9mewMoYkwEvncCjfxS?si=oa8ni545R2uKZ4KSgrBpow)

Lena, J’onn and Kara sat on the floor of the conference room. The lights were off, and candles burned on the tabletop.

As Lena had predicted, Kara had no objection to Lena risking her life to save her. She did not say thank you or acknowledge the sacrifice. She just stared into Lena's’s eyes blankly and whispered, “good luck.”

J’onn took each of their hands.

“I need the two of you to clear your minds completely and only listen to me. Lena, if this works, you will feel a physical drain like nothing you have ever felt before. You have got to be the one to tell me when to stop. Only you will know when it is too much. The more life force you can give to Kara the better but stop before you hurt yourself. This will hurt your body and your soul. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

“Nothing could hurt as bad as looking into Kara’s beautiful blue eyes and seeing not a single glimmer of what we once had. I would rather let you take it all than face that again.”

Kara said nothing.

“Okay, you two. Close your eyes and breathe. Listen to my words.”

They both nodded and closed their eyes.

“Your life for hers, your blood for hers, your heart for hers, your soul for hers. Kara, take in this gift of Lena’s life force. Take in her love, her passion, her dedication to you. Let it fill you with peace, with hope, with joy. Let her beating heart resurrect the heart inside you that has died.”

Suddenly, Lena felt a sharp shooting pain pierce her heart, her stomach, and her head. An excruciating burning spread through her entire body. Every part of Lena wanted to tell J’onn to stop. She wanted to tell him that the pain was too much, and she could not take anymore, but when she thought of losing Kara for good, she just kept holding on. She did not know how much was too much, but it did not feel like she had given enough. Even with the agony.

Lena closed her eyes, trying desperately to hold on as long as she could. When she opened them again for a brief second, she looked at Kara.

“Lena?” Kara said with a brightness in her eyes she had not seen in weeks.

Lena smiled and succumbed to the pain, and suddenly, everything went black.

***

"SHE'S DEAD! You killed her. Why did you let her do this?" Kara's shrill screams echoed through the D.E.O. "WHAT DID YOU ALL DO?"

“It all happened so quickly,” J’onn said to Alex as she ran into the room. “She just collapsed, lifeless and broken.”

Kara straddled Lena’s body, staring down at her. She wept uncontrollably, holding Lena’s lifeless face between her hands. She let out a loud wail and a shriek of pain.

“What did you do, Lena? What were you thinking?”

Alex grabbed Kara’s shoulder and shook her.

“Kar, move. We need to check her vitals.”

**“Hallelujah”, by Tori Kelly**

[**https://open.spotify.com/track/3wWinz94TSPWe6CgTaSK6x?si=Mtg8ss18Tg2NmnZpVYrVfA** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/3wWinz94TSPWe6CgTaSK6x?si=Mtg8ss18Tg2NmnZpVYrVfA)

Kara rolled off Lena. Alex dropped to her knees and checked Lena’s pulse. It was faint. She felt for her breath. Nothing.

Alex looked back at Kara.

“Kar, what does her heart sound like?”

Kara sobbed and labored to catch her breath. Her whole body shook, and she was blinded by her tears.

“I hear nothing. She has no heartbeat, Alex,” Kara said shattered.

Alex began mouth to mouth, attempting to resuscitate Lena. She tried with all her might, but Lena remained unconscious and barely holding on to life.

Alex looked around, unsure what to do.

“She’s not responding to CPR. We need to get her into the sickbay now.”

Kara leaned over Lena’s body. Her tears fell onto Lena’s pale face. She let out a loud wail of sorrow that shook the entire D.E.O. She pressed her face to Lena’s and held onto her.

“Lena, please. Come back. I am so sorry you had to give up so much. You should not have done this.”

J’onn shook his head, his own eyes were glassy with tears.

“She just gave too much,” J’onn said, shaken. She gave too much, and now she is as lifeless and emotionless as I feared. CPR will not restore her life force. I am afraid nothing can.”

Kara scooped Lena up in her arms and held her tight. She floated up above the ground and held her close. She closed her eyes and kissed Lena with every ounce of energy she had in her body.

Suddenly, a bright flash of light exploded between them, blinding everyone in the room. The light seemed to emanate from both of their hearts. Their heads knocked back. J’onn, Eliza, Winn and Alex struggled to watch as they seemed overtaken by some force outside of their bodies and yet somehow inexplicably tied to them.

_Flashes of every encounter Kara and Lena ever shared exploded in their minds collectively. The friendship, the love, the joys, and the sorrows flowed through them like a rush of fire._

Lena cried out Kara’s name. Kara cried out Lena’s name. The burst of light between them dimmed, and they both fell hard to the ground. Their crumpled bodies lay motionless on the cool floor.

"Are they...", J'onn began to say.

Alex and Eliza ran to their side and checked for a pulse. Eliza looked up, her eyes wet with tears.

“Lena has a pulse, and it is strong. Extraordinarily strong,” she said with a smile.

Alex looked up and beamed.

“Kara too. I think they are okay.”

“Oh, thank God,” Eliza said, stroking Lena’s cheek with the back of her hand. “I thought we lost them.”

***

Lena briefly regained consciousness. She could barely open her eyes and she struggled to speak, but the faint sounds of conversation let her know that she and Kara were okay.

“I am so relieved these two made it. It was touch and go there,” Winn said.

“Now that we have joined their life forces, no one will ever be able to pull them apart,” J’onn said with a smile.

Alex stepped forward and gave J’onn a pat on the back.

“J’onn, I suspect their life forces have been joined since the moment they met. They have survived the villainy of National City, Lena’s family trying to kill them both, fights, betrayal, and death itself. No one could have pulled them apart before, trust me I know, and no one will dare try to pull them apart now.”

“On my planet, sharing life force in this way is tantamount to marriage,” J’onn said with his signature grin.

Alex and Eliza smiled.

“Well, it was the longest engagement in history, but congratulations to the happy couple,” Eliza said grinning.

“Not it!” Alex touched her nose quickly.

“Alexandra, what on earth are you doing?”

“I am not telling Lena and Kara that they are Martian married.”

J’onn and Eliza both quickly touched their noses and said, “Not It!” in unison.

The three of them burst into laughter. The sound of their joy echoed through the D.E.O.

Lena relaxed and allowed her body to succumb to sleep. If they were laughing, she knew they would be okay.

***

**“I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”, by Haley Reinhart**

[**https://open.spotify.com/track/6yIHGmQLJxWAUZ1ZkENemN?si=TEqaiKsFToGo-smrDCifNQ** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/6yIHGmQLJxWAUZ1ZkENemN?si=TEqaiKsFToGo-smrDCifNQ)

When Lena’s eyes blinked open again, she was disoriented. She sat up a little, but a wave of dizziness and nausea forced her to lay back.

“Careful. Don't sit up too quickly,” Kara whispered softly. She stood at the end of Lena's bed, blanketed in shadow, but Lena knew her voice even at barely a whisper. She stepped forward out of the darkness and took Lena’s hand.

Lena smiled at Kara and tried to sit up again.

“Kara? Are you okay?”

Kara caressed Lena’s head and smoothed back her long black hair.

“I am, thanks to you. How are you feeling?”

“Like a magical dump truck hit me. What was that light?”

Kara let out a tiny chuckle and continued to caress Lena’s head lovingly.

“I have no clue what it was. I don’t care as long as you are safe. I am so thankful to you, but you never should have risked your life to restore my emotions.”

“I had no choice.”

“Why?” Kara asked.

“Because I have spent every moment since we met living for you. I admit, I have not done my absolute best showing it, but you are my world, Kara Danvers. When that kryptonite beam hit you, I felt like my life lost its meaning. I felt like all the warmth and security I had in you had been ripped away from me. Losing your beautiful smile was devastating. I was terrified I would never be able to touch your heart again.”

Kara moved her hands to Lena’s cheeks and stared deep into her eyes.

“Lena, you may not believe this, but I never stopped feeling. I never stopped caring about you. I was frozen, devoid of emotion, but I fought. I fought every minute of every day, even though my instincts told me I felt nothing. I never stopped struggling to find a way back to you. Thank you for never giving up on me. When you were laying there, dying, I thought I lost you forever. I have never known that kind of devastation. I cannot imagine how you felt.”

“It is over. Nothing is permanent,” Lena said, her teary eyes bright and full of love

Lena moved a hand to Kara’s heart and rubbed her chest softly.

Kara beamed.

“It is and I am so happy we’re together.”

“You kissed me,” Lena said with a sweet smile.

“I did. I am just sorry I waited until you had no heartbeat to do it. I suppose I would have worked up the courage to do it on our date.”

“So, it was a date,” Lena said with a chuckle.

“It was. I planned to tell you everything. These last few months working together side by side to take down Lex showed me that our connection can never be severed. I felt like I got us back and it was warm and beautiful. Lena, I love you and I always will. What you did for me, bringing me back from the brink of darkness, well, it was just so us. You did something reckless and dangerous knowing you could end your life just to save me.”

Lena stroked Kara’s cheek with her hand and pulled her hair behind her ear.

“It is kind of our thing,” Lena said, grinning.

“So true.” Kara leaned in closer and kissed Lena’s forehead and pulled back.

Lena looked deep into Kara’s eyes. She took Kara’s face in her hands and blinked away more tears away.

“Kara, what we have… the love that is between us, no man, weapon, or little weasel can destroy. Lex will regret he ever dared shoot the woman I love.”

Kara grinned.

“So, I am the woman you love?”

“Did Lex shoot at any other beautiful Kryptonian women?”

“Not that I know of. Did you just call me beautiful?”

“I did.”

“Lena.”

“Yes Kara.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I don’t remember you asking for permission when you were trying to save my life.”

“That was different. That was medicinal kissing,” Kara said with her little side smile and a wink.

“Not only do you have permission to kiss me now, but you have permission to kiss me now and anytime you want for the rest of our days.”

Kara leaned in and wrapped her arms around Lena. She pulled her in close and kissed her with every beautiful emotion that pumped through her heart. Lena grabbed onto Kara and held her so tight, her knuckles went white. She met Kara’s kiss with equal passion and fervor, but the prevailing emotion that coursed through her body and made her tingle from head to toe was relief. Relief that Kara was safe and could show all the love in her heart, relief that Kara felt the way she felt, and relief that she had finally found her way home to Kara’s arms.

***

The National City evening was ideal for their first date. The heavy thunderstorms started just after Lena arrived at Kara’s. Kara offered to take Lena to any fancy restaurant she wanted to go to for their first date, but all Lena wanted was to be wrapped in the warmth and safety of Kara’s embrace. All she wanted was to feel her softness all around her. She wanted to kiss her lips and get lost in her eyes. Kara gave Lena choices for dinner, but all she asked was that they eat something that brought Kara comfort. Kara made Eliza’s famous grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner. Kara could not count how many times she had a truly dreadful day, and Eliza made it better with grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

After dinner, they shared a bowl of rocky road ice cream, but their kisses and their longing to be close happily stole them away from their dessert. For the rest of the evening, they enjoyed the closeness and contentment they could only find in each other’s arms.

When their last movie ended, the clock read 1:45 am. Lena laid on top of Kara, running her fingers through her blonde locks.

“Would you like to stay? I don't want to overstep, but it is late, and the storm hasn’t subsided.”

“Kara Danvers, what kind of woman do you think I am?” Lena asked playfully.

Kara held onto Lena and kissed her nose.

“The kind of woman who wants to kiss and snuggle with me all night,” she said, giving Lena a squeeze.

“You are one-hundred percent correct. You just know me. Are you sure it is okay if I stay?”

Lena caressed Kara’s cheeks and kissed her lips tenderly.

Kara let out a little moan of contentment.

“Is it okay? Are you kidding? I may never let you go. This day has been so perfect. I have you, my favorite comfort food, and a perfect storm outside. I never want this evening to end. Please don't leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere, my love. Even death cannot rip me away from you,” Lena said with loving sincerity. “Nothing can tear us apart.”

“I don't want to think about that. I was so scared, Lena. I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have known that nothing in this universe or beyond will keep this Luthor away from her Super.”

“What do you say we go crawl into bed and stay there until we get panicked calls from everyone?” Kara said with a chuckle.

“It might take a while for those panicked calls to come in. Alex said she is calling Clark in for the next couple of weeks to keep an eye on National City. I think she knows that we will be useless for a while.”

Lena kissed Kara’s nose and pulled herself off the couch. She extended a hand and helped Kara to her feet. Kara picked Lena up in her arms and carried her to bed. Lena flashed back to when Kara caught her as she was pushed from the balcony of L-Corp. She felt the same safety and security she felt that night, except now she knew that Kara and Supergirl were the same person. Even more important, she knew that Kara was hers and that all the love and emotion she thought was lost was recovered through the simple act of letting go and risking it all for love.

**“That’s How Strong My Love Is”, by Otis Redding**

[**https://open.spotify.com/track/3p6keDkfLYYpuAdvv1Ktsh?si=jZV3omuCRK-cJjnb80DizQ** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/3p6keDkfLYYpuAdvv1Ktsh?si=jZV3omuCRK-cJjnb80DizQ)

**“You And I”, by Ingrid Michaelson**

[ **https://open.spotify.com/track/4oeRfmp9XpKWym6YD1WvBP?si=lXd7pSAbT4O8fVE5BV8gTQ** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/4oeRfmp9XpKWym6YD1WvBP?si=lXd7pSAbT4O8fVE5BV8gTQ)


End file.
